When I left Dr. Canali’s office after the last session, he gave me a hug. I told him, “Thank you for being there for me.” He replied, “Thank you for trusting me.”
Af first it didn’t hit me, but as I went on about my days, it started to dawn on me why he said what he did.
While it meant the world to me that he was there for me when I was feeling abandoned, there was a greater lesson. He was saying thank you for trusting me because that is not easy for me to do.
Trusting Anyone Is Not Easy
With all I had been through and how badly I had been triggered, trusting anyone was not an easy thing. If you’ve faced similar circumstances, you’ll know exactly what I am saying.
PTSD flashbacks and triggers can leave you crawling in a dark cave not trusting anyone. During this last episode, I felt like roadkill that no one wanted. I felt abandoned as if nothing mattered. Life was hopeless.
It took all I could to trust Dr. Canali in the healing therapy session. So when he said thank you for trusting me, these were just not words uttered as a platitude. He meant them and my body understood them.
For a healer, it isn’t easy to get the trust of some of your clients. If they have experienced hurt, loss, abuse, trauma, and torture, trust is not something they understand. It is not something they easily give no matter who you are. Many can spot the questionable things in someone else even if they aren’t major issues.
Vulnerability That Says I’m With You
Thank you for trusting me is a vulnerable way for a therapist to say, “I’m with you,” and “I understand.” It is a way to show that they truly get it because so many say they are there for you, but they are not 100 percent.
While Dr. Canali has helped me so much over the years, he reminded me that I do get triggered by him at times. While I recognize that, I know that he has helped me so much and in those rough moments, it is easier for me to give him a pass. I’ve got a track record of major progress with him.
Recently someone half-heartedly joked with me that I don’t trust others that much. They are correct because I see through so much of what they say or don’t say, do or don’t do.
Thank You For Trusting Me
For me to hear those words from Dr. Canali that day, “Thank you for trusting me,” meant the world to me in more ways than one. It helped me acknowledge his vulnerability in helping me while realizing that he’s only human and sometimes I’m triggered by him.
More importantly, it gave me that moment that said once again, “I’m in this journey with you no matter how difficult it gets.” To me, that means everything. I know it isn’t mere words.
After being abandoned so much in my life, it helps to hear it repeated that he is there for me. In my view, that is at the heart of helping someone heal.
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