Interjecting our healing experiences on to others without listening is harmful and toxic. It helps no one because it devalues another individual. While sometimes you may think you’re helping, there’s a good chance you’re not. Read on to find out what I mean.
Do we interject our healing experiences at the expense of listening to someone? I think many of us would say, “No – we don’t do this!” Yet, I think we if we were more honest, we would see that we do.
In some ways, it is normal to interject our healing experiences into what someone is saying or sharing. It is part of us and how we see the world around us. It is part of how we view life because these things have made up what we know.
Unfortunately, though, sometimes this is detrimental to someone sharing. Maybe they are processing things and writing it out helps them see the boundaries beyond what they know in this moment.
Interjecting Our Healing Experiences Are Not Helpful
Interjecting our healing experiences in many ways can almost tell the other person that their views are not ideal. It somewhat says to them that they don’t know enough, and we know better than them. Sometimes it is downright condescending which does not turn out to be helpful.
Now, I’m not saying you should not draw upon your past experience in communication and help and support of others. If this is what you are hearing me say, it is the opposite of what I’m trying to state.
We need to use the tools in our toolbox, but we need to make sure we’re not trying to jam a square peg into a triangle slot. It just doesn’t work well for them or us.
Interjecting our healing experiences can overshadow something that is truly important. Maybe it is an area that we are unconsciously not aware of that needs healing in our lives.
Most of the time, I think we proclaim to the world what we most need to hear. At the same time, we’re oblivious to a lot.
Are We Listening?
I know all of us want to help others, but we’ve really got to check ourselves at the door. Are we as aware and conscious as we think we are? Did we forget to take the blinders off our own eyes? Are we clearly seeing by listening to the other person or are we listening by interjecting our own healing experiences?
All too often, we need to share our voice. Sometimes I find that when I do that, people respond as if I am in crisis. This is where interjecting our healing experiences comes as a detriment. We may not mean it that way, but far too often it is demeaning, rather than empowering.
Some of the most beneficial healing moments I have had were when people listened. They held the space without judgment, ego, or telling me what I should do. They let me be in that space, helping to hold me steady, as I bumped into the guard rails of life.
Using Healing Experiences To Connect
Instead of interjecting our healing experiences, we are far better off to support someone by listening to them or holding them. We are better off to hold the space for them as they lean on us for extra strength. While it may sound too simple and inadequate, it is that connection that propels other people forward in their healing.